So tell me what you want, what you really, really want4 min read

Many times we reach standstills in our lives, where we are not really sure what it is we truly desire. In this article we delve into questions we often ask ourselves that remain unanswered.

As newcomers to this earthbound party, many of us are still unsure of what it is exactly we are meant to do. To start off, the question you should actually ask yourself is: “What do I want?” Does it not stand in alignment with nature’s work that what you are meant to accomplish is what you enjoy and are passionate about?

Now if you happen to be one of those people who knows exactly what they are aiming for, have enough tissue paper to last their lifetime, have their next five holidays booked and know what their children’s names are going to be, you can skip the rest. Otherwise please follow me.

Know yourself

Knowing what you want does not come easy, as it takes knowing yourself. Our lives were always given outer directionality, so no wonder you don’t know where your actual desires lie. It is a rare occurrence that one gets to make a conscious decision rather than being swept with the tide of the crowds. I will share heuristic techniques with you which will allow you to explore parts of yourself you might be unfamiliar with, as enlightening as it is, it can also be a fun activity to try with friends.

Before we proceed, I will share with you the underlying concepts of these exercises, they may not resonate with you but try to entertain them anyway: There is no “right” path for you, whatever path you take is the one you are meant to, due to your previous actions and decisions. That being said, you can always choose the most experientially rich experience for yourself, the one where you get to do more of what you want to do, be where you want to be, be with whoever it is you want to be. You can call it the “rightest” path but necessarily the right one. Life is so variegated and colourful, your eyeshadow palette would pale in comparison.

What you aren’t

First, play the game of what you don’t want. Take a pen and paper and make a list of 10 or more. For example, if you feel strongly about wet socks, take note of that. Pay attention to sources of anger, resentment and disgust. If you want to go deeper, try to understand what about wet socks actually repel you. Knowing what you don’t want gives you a more accurate idea of what it is you really want.

Next, make a list of things that bring you joy; these can be as little as “I like when my socks fit” or as big as “I like receiving a delivery of 10,000 socks”. As you can guess these are direct indications of what you aspire for and will help with the next exercise.


Now play a game of no limits; if you could be anything you wanted to be, what would you be? This time write with your non-dominant hand. It won’t look pretty but trust me, subconscious intentions reveal themselves in creative ways. Do not limit or judge yourself.

Once done, ask yourself why do you want these things to reveal your underlying motives. If, for instance, you want to be a sock entrepreneur, ask yourself why? The answer could be because you want to spread warmth and comfort.

During this exercise you may or may not discover what you truly want has nothing to do with socks, but is as trivial as you wanting happiness. Don’t be afraid of making happiness your end goal. Happiness is the full deluxe life package. What I mean by that is, happiness brings with it all your overlying desires such as love, abundance and security.

Know no limits

Do keep in mind, that desires are ever-evolving as much as you are. The finish line moves as much as you do. The party is never-ending in a sense. You will always reach for more, and that is how you expand to embrace greater milestones. That is the beauty of the ever-striving nature of humans.

I will end this by saying: “People who get what they want, know what they want.”

I hope this helped shed some light on yourself.

This article takes inspiration from the video ‘How to Discover What You Want’ by Teal Swan:

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